and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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