my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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