I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
