She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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