I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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