so that wasnt chicken after all
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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