I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
