sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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