do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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