Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
