When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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