btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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