He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
