am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sorry about my life...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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