somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
