I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
