Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
