Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
