Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
