my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
