i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dick very happy bro
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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