Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
