so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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