Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
