I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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