TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
