Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
