I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
