therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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