I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Text me some of your sweat
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