Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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