Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
