Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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