He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
