my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
