Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
