ya dads aren't the best wingmen
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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