before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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