She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
