She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
