I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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