it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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