What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
