$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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