What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Are my feet made of real feet?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
