I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
