I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
