I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
