I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
