I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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